The emotions of a volunteer are constantly changing and it can be difficult to find a balance between work, integration, solitary time, time spent at or away from site, etc. I felt guilty every time I left site whether it was for banking, business, or relaxation. The life of a volunteer can be very stimulating with the new language, culture, social situations, harassment, work ethic, taboos, missing home, accomplishments, failures, new relationships, food-I really could go on and on.
I often hear, “don't compare yourself to other volunteers,” but it takes a conscious effort not to. During IST I listened to other PCVs about life at site and was doubting whether I was integrating enough. I was so overwhelmed with new information and project ideas, and I didn't know where to start. After a few difficult weeks in September, I finally realized that I really can't compare myself to others because every person and every site is different. I need to live in the way that makes me happiest. Ive leanrned how much alone time is too much and how much time working is enough for me to be the most productive. Ive learned how much time out and about in the community makes me feel integrated and learned that sometimes i'ts ok to just read all afternoon. Finally, I learned how to organize project ideas into concrete steps and a timeline, and what is feasible to do in two years.
Peace Corps says that you'll experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Ive found that to ring true on many occasions. The highs definitly outweigh the lows otherwise I wouldn't still be here. I'm still finding my groove in this way of life but its getting easier all the time.
You know you're a PCV when:
- Finding phone credit is better than finding money
- If there's a word in Malagasy you don't know, you say it in English with a French accent and 80 percent of the time they understand
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